Does this shirt make me look fat?

No. But it does, apparently, make me look pregnant (which I'm not, by the way). Two people today have asked me if I'm expecting. Normally, this would have been an enormous blow to my ego, as all women of a curvaceous nature would agree. I think, at this point, most people know better than to commit the social foul of asking a woman "When are you due?" unless she is 8 months or more pregnant and otherwise thin. Most of us may wonder, but we don't ask because we've all heard the horror stories. You never want the response to, "When are you due?" to be "I'm not pregnant." If I were wearing anything else in my wardrobe, I'd be crying and hiding in the bathroom right now.

Today is different, though. I know it's not the shape (or lack thereof) of my figure that is prompting questions. I know this because my shirt does not touch me anywhere except the neckline... and therein lies the problem. Apparently I appear to be hiding something. This shirt gives people permission to ask me.

But it's not like it says, "Baby on Board" across the front. Remember when we all used to wear babydoll style shirts and dresses? Back in the early 90s? Did people ask then? I just wanted to be cool in the hot weather. I just wanted to wear something new. I just wanted to be free and whimsical and hippy-chic. At least I know how this shirt looks on me...

Does it make me look fat? Nope. It makes me look fertile. Good to know.