Thursday, May 31, 2007

I'm It

I thought I'd escaped the inevitable tagging for the 7 Random Things About Me list that is going around, but the tagging was, as I have stated, inevitable.

So why fight it?

Here are the rules:
A)Each person tagged gives 7 random facts about themselves.
B)Those tagged need to write in their blogs the 7 facts, as well as the rules of the game.
C)You need to tag 7 others and list their names on your blog.
D)You have to leave those you plan on tagging a note in their comments so they know that they I have been tagged and to read your blog.

You should know up front that I plan to break rule C and D.

1. I got scammed by's poetry contest. I wrote a poem that I thought was good, and may have actually been good, but I didn't know that was irrelevant, and that's why the scam works. Flattery gets them everything, and my ego caused me to buy the book that my poem is now in, along with every other crappy poem ever written. The poems are 10-15 to a page, depending on length, and there are probably 150 pages or so. Imagine if every one of those people paid $29.99 for the book! (I hate to admit that it may actually have cost more than that) Some of them probably bought one for their moms, too. I paid for the right to claim idiocy later. Lesson learned. Don't make this mistake. I later submitted the poem to several REAL literary publications. No dice. No surprise.

2. I danced at Felicity Huffman's birthday party. Not on a pole, not on a club dance floor... I choreographed a group of dancers for a song and dance extravaganza planned by her husband, William H. Macy. Apparently Eric Stoltz and Mare Winningham were there also... and JENNIFER GREY?!! I did not get confirmation on this, but it was rumored she was there. I couldn't look at any one's faces, of course, because I was afraid that mid-kick line I'd recognize the dance movie icon and forget what I was doing. "I didn't do the lift, but it was good." Still... How's that for Celebrity Adjacent?!

3. I coined the phrase Celebrity Adjacent. As far as I know, no one else has ever used it, but you can if you want, just don't take credit. It doesn't necessarily imply physical proximity as much as it does social proximity. It's a medium-sized step or two before Groupie or Hanger-On. My social circle intersects occasionally with celebrities, thus I am celebrity adjacent. It's all very Venn.

4. I hate clowns. This in itself is not very random. Many of you probably share this aversion. Add to it the fact that I also hate the Big Head characters and places like Disneyland and Chuck E. Cheese, and I would move it into the random category. I don't like those guys because I don't know who's in there. Man or Woman? Young or Old? Pervy or Non-threatening? Licking lips or smiling benignly? As far as I am concerned, every Big Head is an Old, Pervy Man Licking his Lips. Sorry Easter Bunny.

5. I am not a red head. Nor do I have straight hair. All you personal friends know this, but my internet peeps probably don't. Not based on the photos represented here. I've been dying my hair red for about 7 years. The curly thing... I've been fighting it since puberty. I can only fight it on a daily basis when my hair is on the short side. Which is why it's short right now. Feria-- love you! Flat Iron-- more important than a tooth brush. Don't tell my dad.

6. My dad is a dentist. I work for him. I don't have perfect teeth, but that's okay because they LOOK perfect. I have many fillings, a crown, veneers. I had braces twice and neck gear. My godfather is my orthodontist. I was dealt a good hand, tooth-wise.

7. I respect all the people in the world who are brave enough not to mess their lives up. We get very little credit for staying within the lines, for making the difficult decision not to give in to life-altering temptations. Everyone loves a recovery story, but no one notices a good old fashioned ... what, there isn't even a name for it. Success story? That implies fame and fortune. I don't know what to call it, and that's why I get so mad. No one ever dedicated a yearbook to someone who never screwed up. My senior class high school yearbook was dedicated to a girl who was brave enough to admit she was on heroin and seek treatment. I'm not saying that doesn't take guts; I'm sure it does. I watch Intervention. But doesn't not doing drugs take guts too? What about the other 59 of us seniors who never shot up in the first place? Where is our yearbook dedication? I salute you, Straight and Narrow Walkers. Whales who don't swim upstream and get trapped, I salute you too!

8. Bonus #8: I'm a hypocrite. Every time I bring up the fact that I quit smoking I realize that I don't really deserve credit for that. It wasn't easy, and I'm so glad I did it, and so are my family and friends... But it's hardly something to brag about. Those of you who have never smoked: Keep up the good work. You are brave.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

What I know you've all been waiting for...

She was looking for me. I was drying my hair.

What's so hard about this? She's napping in a chair!

Look at that grin. That's what handknits can do.

Lovin' the look of this!!! We'll at least be photogenic parents, if not actually GOOD parents... Of course, we'll be probably do just fine at the actual parenting too. We fake it like champs!!!

Ahh, Future Daddies of America!!!

Ahhh, Future Grandmas of America!!!!

Look at these two. That's the real mommy (and daddy shooting the other angle in the background). The rest of us just pretended.

Weird, I didn't take any photos of poop, wee wee al fresca, spit up, dirty bottles, hanging laundry... I guess those things are just so easy to forget about when there's all that cuteness!!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Look What Else I Can Do

Please check out these shorts that Senor and I worked on. If you like what you see, please subscribe to our channel on YouTube as we will be adding new content on a regular basis, all of which Senor and I either appeared in, worked on, wrote or generally approved of! Please tell your friends, relatives, loved ones and unloved ones. :) We put a lot of love and effort into these projects, and now it's time to get love back!!!

(Wouldn't watch them with your wee kids, though. All you mommies and daddies out there, wait until after bedtime. It's nothing terribly scandalous, but I wouldn't call it kid appropriate, either.)

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Squares for Lone Knitter

These squares have been finished for ages, but I just wove in the ends today. I'm going to try to get them out tomorrow. It's so awesome to get something like this finished finally. It serves two purposes:
1) Sending something for a good cause, which makes everyone feel good.

2) Getting a little pile of procrastinator's guilt out of my apartment. Which also feels good.

That New Baby Smell

It's official. Babies are cool.

Yesterday Ashley, Adam and the Bean arrived from Australia, and they're staying with US! I feel very together about my housekeeping and preparation for guests, but I have not felt so out of my element since my rappelling instructor in 7th grade said, "Just lean back over the edge and trust the rope." You know you won't die or kill anyone, but it's still terrifying.

What if I break the baby? I used to babysit, I didn't think it was so scary then, but I also never babysat a 3 month old.

But there's another difference between then and now... Now, any misstep or awkwardness feels like a direct reflection on my potential as a Future Mother of America. Before, I'd just say, "Well, I've never had a baby, so no wonder I don't know what I'm doing!" Now it's, "Oh God, I'm planning to have a baby in the next year or two, shouldn't I know what I'm doing by now?!"

Fortunately, all went well. We gave Maddie a bath in the sink (thank goodness I had JUST cleaned it).

And I Helped! I was in charge of making sure she didn't go under.

She didn't.

(Does it look like my left arm drowned a week ago? Why is it so blue?!)

Tonight they actually sleep at our apartment. Senor and I are camping on the twin bed in the guest room because all of our clothes and stuff are in there... and we want the little family to have room and privacy. I'm making dinner for Adam, Ash, Senor, Mom, Dad and myself. My mom is going to get that new baby smell all over her, and then I'll never hear the end of it!! :)

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

When Good Dinner Goes Bad

Last night, Senor and I had nachos for dinner. I'm sure my mom would be horrified that I offered my "family" nachos for dinner, but I reasoned that they had a lot of tomatoes and avocados on them, and the ground beef would not go bad before being used this week, and cheese has calcium... these are all very good things.

And they tasted great! I made way too much, but whatever...

So why, then, did I find myself waking in the middle of the night with a racing heart and a feeling that something was definitely not quite right... Did I forget to set my alarm? Lock the front door? Was I nervous about anything? Had I had a bad dream? Or maybe... WAIT, I KNOW!! And off I ran to the senorita's room. Lest you think it was the other thing, I had myself a little puke.

It wasn't the booze, I swear. That still happens every once in a while, though I'm much too old for that. But not this time. This was dinner rebelling. It was strange, though, because it was SO MANY HOURS LATER! There's was hardly any dinner left. It was almost breakfast time. So why? Why did my lovely sleep get interrupted by a vengeful dinner that had seemed so friendly?

No one can say for sure. Senor was fine.

Oh well.

No, it wasn't morning sickness.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Finishing and Beginning

All done!!! Ruffled Surplice from Interweave Knits Spring 2007 is finished and I love it!! This is the second time I've worn it, and I have no complaints. I plan to take full advantage of June Gloom (though it is still May) to wear cashmerino before it gets too hot. I am loving the layered look.
Yarn: KFI Cashmerino
Needles: Size 9

I especially think that my new sweater goes great with my new sunburn! See that redness? The photo doesn't really capture the raging blue-redness of it, and it is now 48 hours since I got hijacked by an outdoor awards ceremony that lasted too long. I thought it would be inside. Dummy me. Well, I guess that's my sunburn for the year. I get no tan ever, but I always get one ill-advised sunburn somehow... Note to self: Call dermatologist for a check-up.

And what is this? You didn't think I could finish one sweater without starting another, did you? I'm a machine now!
This rolly bit of reverse stockingnette is eventually going to be the following:

Do I really need to say I'm happy with my Interweave Knits subscription? This is the sleeveless tux shirt from the Summer 07 issue. I'm using Elann Lara mercerized cotton. I am not loving it. It is very splitty. Bummer... still, I press on. I just have to pay a bit more attention.
That's all.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Let the seaming commence!

Love the shaping for the hips!! This one might actually stay down over the top of my pants in the back!!
Since this photo was taken, the shoulder seams and the left side seam have been completed. Once the seams are done, then all I have to do is the butt ruffle, and it'll be FO City!!
(and then there are all of those ends to attend to...)

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Still Sick

Yes, folks, the frustration is indescribable. I am still hacking and coughing. I'll have six pack abs in no time from all of the coughing. Of course, by then I'll be divorced because my husband hasn't slept in nearly two weeks, and I barely remember what it feels like to kiss him. I've slept sitting up for the past two nights, and while it helps the lungs stay clear, it's not very restful... Of course, neither is waking up drowning every minute and a half either. I'm on my third prescription cocktail, so keep your fingers crossed. I gotta get back to life as usual!! I'm going crazy!

It's been good for the knitting, though. I now have the back, both front pieces and one sleeve finished on the Ruffled Surplice. This one should definitely be done by the end of the month if not sooner. And then what? I don't know... but I hope it will be something quick and satisfying like this one has been.

Last night, despite the sickness, Senor and I saw "Georgia Rule." It was a free screening at his new job, and while Senor was pretty sure he wouldn't like it, he thought I might, and it was an elbow-rubbing opportunity, so we sat down to check it out.

24 minutes later we were ducking and running. I beg of you all, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SEE THIS MOVIE! I can't put the blame on the actresses. I think they were doing their best, but they were working with a script that some misogynist put together by reassembling long horizontal strips of dialogue salvaged from the Shredded For Your Safety dumpsters behind the offices of Motherhood Sucks Pictures. I'm not kidding. I'll watch a turd. I've watched many movies that I will not admit I liked to anyone I respect, but this was something else. You know how some movies are so bad they come back around to good? This one passes good twice and boomerangs off into the atmosphere...

Poor Felicity.

But at least Senor and I got to go home early. :)

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Roid Rage!

Yes, folks, we've escalated from inadequate antibiotics to steroid shots in the derriere... It seems to have eased the coughing slightly, but I am also feeling very aggressive and bulked up!!!! I'll cut you!!!! Okay, I'm feeling neither aggressive nor muscular, which I'm kinda disappointed about... wouldn't that be an unexpected development. Senor and I did get a bit more sleep last night, so that is a step in the right direction at least. And I got drops for the Eye of Pestilence.

Do I really need to tell you that our song didn't get chosen for American Idol? You'd have known if it was. Oh well. Go vote for those steaming piles that beat us anyway.

In knitting we have the following:

I'd be getting a lot more done on the Ruffled Surplice if I could get it to stop texting Krissy's Roza's socks. They're BFF (best fiber friends) because they come from the same magazine issue. In all seriousness (because knitting is serious stuff, people), this is a really fun knit so far! It's flying along, nothing like Senor's sweater at all. Hefty size 9 needles, nice KFI cashmerino yarn, lots of germs woven right in... well, it's almost a really fun knit. The pattern has a lot of "at the same time" in it, which makes keeping track of myself in my roid rage haze a bit difficult, but so far it seems to be coming out the right shape. I can't wait to wear it now that it's a ZILLION DEGREES OUT! Doh!!

And for Viejo Fuerte, a tree update:

It's hardly lush, but it's alive and it appears to be thriving. Some of those old dead leaves just won't fall off, though.

The thumbs are also good. I'm such a productive member of the human race.


Woah, that was just the steroids talking... We're all good, I swear.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Add it to the list...

Since Thursday the 3rd, I have had the following ailments in this order:
Sore Throat
Body Aches
Runny Nose
Pink Eye?!!
Pink eye is the newest on an ever growing list of symptoms that is making me crazy and miserable and crusty, both figuratively and literally. There is still a chance that this blood shot eye is due to aggressive nocturnal coughing (sorry again, Senor), but would the coughing cause the crust and goo I woke up to? Yeah, I didn't think so either.

Sorry to be so gross. It just isn't possible to be ladylike when you're feeling like I've been feeling.

And then there's the question of: What next? I'm putting my money on Lock Jaw. Any takers?

Of course, due to illness and general couch-boundness, there has been a lot of progress on something along these lines...

Monday, May 07, 2007

New Family Member

Not that kind. Get your minds out of the bassinet!

This weekend we said goodbye to an old friend, and we welcomed a new member into our family.
Zis is our new car, Werner:Werner is a German, und he is very prompt und precise. He vill accomplish anything ve ask of him, und he vill do it kvickly and vissout complaint. Werner is a 1979 BMW 5 series. Zis means nussing to me, but Senor is very excited about zis. All I know is Werner did 80 on the freeway, but I did hear him say, "Zis is not the Autobahn!"

Are you wondering if we always speak in the German accent when we talk about Werner? Yes, unless Senor is talking to a car person, and then he speaks of Werner like the english-speaking car person he is.

Of course, in order to make room for our new comrade, we had to say goodbye to an old one. We took the Fetus to Puppy Lake, also known as CarMax. The Fetus is called the Fetus because it looks like a fetal SUV... We didn't make it up, but it stuck. Anyway, the Fetus will spend his days at Puppy Lake, romping and rolling in the mud with the other puppies, until some very happy new owner buys him and puts photos of him on his/her blog.

As for me, I am sad after all. I never knew how I loved the Fetus until it was time to say goodbye. Of course, if Senor has his way, we will be saying hello and goodbye to many car friends over the course of our lives... so I'd better get used to it. I haven't been this sad since Pierre died.

(Pierre was my Puegeot. He went to live with the blind kids.)

Goodbye, Fetus. Don't fail us now.