ME: Goodmorning, Dr. Williams' office, this is Natalie.
CALLER: Are you sure you still want to have kids?
ME: Who is this?
CALLER: This is [uncouth caller of the day].
ME: (laughing uncomfortably) Well, [uncouth caller of the day], that's not a very nice question. I'm not sure I have much of a choice at this point.
Uncouth caller continues with the subject of her call, which involves the ways in which her son is driving her crazy, and how babies are cute but teenagers are a nightmare, and what time is her son's dental appointment again. I try to conduct the business at hand while she seems determined to besmirch the reputation of all offspring ever procreated, and then proceeds to apologize 4 or 5 times, making me uncomfortable enough to say the following, though I didn't mean it:
ME: Oh, don't be silly, I was just teasing you back. It's not the first time I've heard any of this.
When what I really wanted to say was:
ME: Perhaps you should have thought about what you were saying before saying it. Then you wouldn't have to apologize so much that it makes me feel like it's my fault for being insensitive to you in response to your insensitive question. By the way, I haven't had enough coffee yet, and you have now solidified my opinion that my pregnancy is the universal kryptonite to all decent human behavior.
People, I haven't even had my belly touched by a stranger yet. I fear for the safety of the world when that happens...
I might take a week off of being pregnant next week. Who do I see about that?