Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Don't Worry, Little Girl!

I'm trained in plastic baby CPR!! I can save your dolly!!

I hope that, like trigonometry, infant CPR is not something I will ever actually need to use now that I've learned it.

I hope that, unlike the resusci-baby they gave me last night, Zuul will be born complete with straw-like airway and plastic bag-like lungs. Hard to resuscitate a dolly with no windpipe!

I hope that the fact that I have a bruise on the butt of my hand from compressing the resusci-kid mannequin's chest means I was doing something right instead of something wrong...

I hope all of the plastic-torsoed parents appreciate the work that we did to save their children. I hope they know that we are protected by the Good Samaritan Law.

I hope our kid asks for our qualifications before it lets us take it home from the hospital, 'cause we're certified!! (Okay, we're not technically certified, but we are qualified... at least we're gonna be by the time it gets here.)


viejo fuerte said...

A study finds that doctors trained to give CPR to the beat of “Stayin’ Alive” are better at maintaining the rhythm of the lifesaving treatment. Did you learn that and is it appropriate on new borns? And you don't even need the white suit.

Anne-Marie said...

Those plastic torsoed parents should be banned from having kids!

Also, your baby is going to be a Pisces like me. Yay for water babies!

Senora Fuerte said...

I learned the "Staying Alive" trick from the news actually, but they didn't mention it in the class. I especially like the double entendre with the name of the song and its use for CPR purposes.

With infants (0-1 year old) you have to do it faster because their heartrate is naturally faster than ours. So put your record on fast play and rock out!