Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Today, I made a final grasp...


... at my quickly receding control over this wedding. For the past 5 or 6 months, I have been singing the praises of our dj and his company for having a genius on-line playlist builder: Imagine, getting to choose ALL of your own songs!! You can eliminate the Macarena and the Chicken Dance (sorry Michiganders) and "Cotton-Eye Joe" from your wedding-day-worries. You can pitch lackluster selections that everyone plays but you never really liked and replace them with hidden gems from your past. You can carefully construct your own private sound track for maximum poignant affect... A genetically engineered sight and sound experience guaranteed to bring down the house and leave you feeling completely satisfied with your wedding...

Except this is not apparently the case at all. He e-mailed today to praise our interesting choices, and then make a joke about not being allowed to play hip hop (anyone remember my high school student body secretary speech about too much rap and hip hop at school dances?!), and then say that he'll probably have to "Spice up" our dance selections... Spice it up with what, "I Will Survive"? A song about surviving a broken heart delivered by a total bastard? Or maybe "I Like Big Butts"? I've got news for you, Mr. DJ, my grandma does not like big butts!! And if you play "I Will Survive", I will not be able to resist the white girl party faux pas of mouthing the words and squishing my eyes closed and acting it out... I don't want to do that on my Pretty Day!!!!!

I e-mailed him. I dug in my heels. I hate to do that. We'll see when he writes back who will emerge victorious... WHICH DIVA WILL WIN?

4 comments:

amandarama said...

Although I'm a leetle sad at the prospect of a Macarena-free wedding, I applaud your choice of leaving out I Will Survive. It's got a good beat and you can dance to it, but why would anyone ever want to play it at their WEDDING!? I guess they're just implying that they'll be okay when their bastard husbands leave them.
Maybe he could play Shake Your Groove Thing instead... it's one of MY favorites!

grandbigdaddy said...

No chicken dance? and I bought a tux and there's no chicken dance?
Darn.

Gregorio said...

ah yes, but the real question is:

Will anyone be letting the dogs out?

equippedtofascinate said...

Is the Chicken Dance really a Michigan thing? I thought everyone knew that and loved it. Yes, I'm being serious.