So, first of all, the directions said I had to knit in lace pattern until 11.5". I didn't discover this until I successfully reached 11 inches and then looked excitedly for the next direction. I was crestfallen. I said to myself, "Self, knit four more rows to add the 1/2 inch you forgot about, you dumbass. Then pick up the book AGAIN and look excitedly for the next direction." 1 decrease round involving one p2tog every 12 stitches or so, and then this:
Continue even until the piece measures 2.5 inches from decrease round!!!
Gah!!! After I discovered this disheartening direction, I knit to the end of a ball of Cotton Ease and called it a night.
At least it's now growing as slowly as slightly greener grass...