An old project on a new friend-to-be

This weekend we get to meet Baby Kelly, so I thought that would be a good time to share a photo of a little no-biggie project from a while back. A little improvised Who-Hat with a tassel on top. Cute for a cutie! I can't wait to see her in it. And believe me, we'll be having a photo shoot of Kelly in the Matinee Coat and also one of her Uncle Mark in his new sweater. Whee!

Finished!!!

On Telemarketers

For those of you who work in offices with heavy telephone traffic, you'll know what I'm talking about. For those of you who don't (and for the lady I just talked to), see if you can appreciate the situation and give an office manager a break.

There's a new type of call the last few years that generally comes from companies trying to renew your car warranty before it runs out, move your information up to the front pages of Google, offer you free installation of your home's new satellite television system, or tell you that you've won a trip to Cancun just for existing. It's always a very chatty (computer) voice. It gives you time to say your spiel, in my case, "Good Afternoon, Dr. Williams' office, this is Natalie." and then there's an inappropriately long pause (just in case your spiel is long, I guess) and the chatty voice says, "Hi. (pause) Did you know that..." whatever they're selling. Have you gotten these calls? The kind that make you so mad because you fall for it about half of the time even though you should know better? I get them day in and day out. One of the worst offenders is American Express. We don't, for our own reasons, accept American Express cards. It's just policy. And they HATE that apparently because they are constantly ringing our phones with both live and computer operators. I have been asked if we would like to add American Express to our system so many times that I've become... let's use the word cavalier... about ending these phones calls as quickly as possible.

So today...

The phone rang. I picked it up.

"Good Afternoon. Dr. Williams' office, this is Natalie."

Pause.

"Hi. (pause) Do you accept American Express?"

Naturally, I responded: "No, and we're not interested, thank you." Click.

Done. Minimum of wasted time, AND I didn't even spend energy on getting indignant. Just politely let them know where we stand and...

The phone rings.

"Good afternoon. Dr. Williams' office, this is Natalie."

"Natalie, do you mean to tell me that, as a new patient with an American Express card, you're not interested in my business and you would hang up on me every time I call?"

Woops.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, of course not. That's not how I generally address patients. I just get many calls from American Express telemarketers and I mistook you for one. Unfortunately we do not accept American Express, but we do accept Visa and Mastercard."

"Well, I'll have to think about it." And she hung up on me.

Can you blame me, though? How about identifying yourself as a human with teeth who's interested in our dental services?

I feel kinda bad. But then she didn't have much of a sense of humor about the situation, either. Maybe we don't want her anyway.

Something tells me we won't get a chance to find out.

Baby Names

No, I'm not here to discuss our list of favorite baby names... I know you probably would like that, but I'm not sure I could handle the volume of input that would surely invite.

I'm here to let you know the baby, as of yet unborn and ungendered, has seen to it that it's name has been changed (but only until it gets it's real official name which it can just wait until it's 18 years old to change if it must). I guess it didn't like Frijole. It didn't take. We didn't find ourselves referring to it as such in conversation, and thus knew it wasn't the right name.

But then the right name presented itself. In describing how I was feeling to some friends of Senor's, I found myself using a Ghostbusters analogy. And out flew the words, "There is no baby, only Zoul."

Zoul it is.

As in "Zoul doesn't like mommy to eat fruits, vegetables, or anything else good for it," and "Zoul makes mommy cry at the dumbest commercials," or the popular, "Zoul doesn't want mommy to get a whole night's sleep but does want her to sleep in the daytime."

See how neatly that works?

People, Frijole.

Frijole, People.



Baby Strong
Due March 21, 2009

Welcome to the womb, Frijole.

Ravelympics 2008

The goal: To cast on a project during the opening ceremonies of the 2008 Beijing Olympics-- a project of somewhat epic proportions-- and finish it by the end of the closing ceremonies on the 24th. 17 days of mad knit sprinting!!

My event: The Sweater Sprint

The project: A self-designed sweater for my fairly manly-sized cousin Mark, who is currently in attendance at the actual Olympics.

My Team: Team Middle Earth. One Team To Rule Them All!

My Yarn: Cascade 220 Heathers in colorway "Shire" (of course).

My Status: Four days down, back completed.

What Michael Phelps thinks of this progress:



Evidence:


(I am using one of Mark's favorite sweaters as a size/shape template)

On to the front!!

8 squares to the end

With Ravelympics starting tomorrow (YAHOO!!!), I won't be able to finish the remaining 8 squares necessary to complete the knitting on the Barn Raising Quilt. I was cruising along with cat-like quickness when, for some reason, knitting the squares started making me sea sick. It slowed me down more than I could manage, and thus I did not make my goal. But I did photograph some of the pairings that WILL appear in the final blanket. The colors are more vibrant in real life, promise.

Enjoy!

Blogging from Under the Desk

Yes, yes, I did. I got under the desk. I'm a dork, and would have been alive even if I hadn't gotten under the desk... But if the sh*t had hit the fan, I'd have been pointing and laughing from my hidey-hole-- trapped under the desk under the rubble-- at all of you who were too cool to get under your desks... until I had to start drinking my own pee.

Then I'd probably stop laughing.

A little t.v., a little knitting, a little better...

Today is a better day. Much quieter here at work, and after my weekly dose of Project Runway and So You Think You Can Dance last night, I'm feeling much more myself. Neither gruntled nor disgruntled, I'm just cruising. Which is a relief because I didn't like the way yesterday transformed me into a miserly troll hungry for tender unsuspecting goat. You're all lucky you didn't cross my bridge yesterday. It wasn't pretty.

Thank you Monte for your hilarious anonymous comment on yesterday's post... at least I think that was you. It gave me a good laugh this morning. I read it to coworkers. A fun time was had by all.

So anyone want some knitting? I did the math on my Barn-Raising Quilt, and I am 16 and a half squares away from completing my grand plan. I've decided that the best way to make sense of the mish-mash of colors is to try to create 4-square blocks with same or similar colorways diagonal from each other paired with a contrasting color on the opposite diagonal... I have two or three squares of most yarns, but only one of some. My hope is that the single squares can be matched up with something similar enough to create a coherent 4-square with two same colors opposite it. Does this make sense? Photos would help, huh? I'll work on that.

So anyway, where do I go from here? I'm working on knitting a second square of any matchless colorways for which I have yarn remaining. And to keep myself entertained (and to make best use of what little yarn is left in colorways that have fulfilled their blanket destinies), I am knitting bitty baby things. We have a new bitty baby, so some of them may go to her, some of them may go to charity, and as my mom always suggests, no matter what baby thing I knit, some will be put in a "Save them for [my] kids" pile. I always tell her that I can't save everything, and that by the time our kids come around I'll be a much better knitter, but she does have a point... some things are just too damn cute not to keep. :) Once 2 squares and a baby item have been made out of a colorway, that colorway is going in a bag which I hope to sell/trade or otherwise dispense of via the blog or Ravelry to some other Barn Raiser. There should be a good selection of nice yarns in pretty colors to add to another blanket elsewhere in knitland. (Putasockonit, are you out there? How's your blanket coming? Still wanna make a deal?)

The Laminaria shawl is chillin', as are other UFOs, but they are not languishing. I'm just allowing myself to be a slave to my whims these days, and I feel certain that I will whim my way back to these older projects very soon.

Worn Out Welcome

Today. This place of employment. This ringing telephone. The company that faxed me endlessly for almost an hour. These people calling to haggle their bills. The news people that told them that is an okay thing to do. This hairdo. These clothes. This economy. This worn out feeling.

Worn out welcomes all around.

And I am Senora McMoodSwing. Yesterday I described myself giddily as "ritable" and "gruntled". (The opposites of irritable and disgruntled).

Does this shirt make me look fat?

No. But it does, apparently, make me look pregnant (which I'm not, by the way). Two people today have asked me if I'm expecting. Normally, this would have been an enormous blow to my ego, as all women of a curvaceous nature would agree. I think, at this point, most people know better than to commit the social foul of asking a woman "When are you due?" unless she is 8 months or more pregnant and otherwise thin. Most of us may wonder, but we don't ask because we've all heard the horror stories. You never want the response to, "When are you due?" to be "I'm not pregnant." If I were wearing anything else in my wardrobe, I'd be crying and hiding in the bathroom right now.

Today is different, though. I know it's not the shape (or lack thereof) of my figure that is prompting questions. I know this because my shirt does not touch me anywhere except the neckline... and therein lies the problem. Apparently I appear to be hiding something. This shirt gives people permission to ask me.

But it's not like it says, "Baby on Board" across the front. Remember when we all used to wear babydoll style shirts and dresses? Back in the early 90s? Did people ask then? I just wanted to be cool in the hot weather. I just wanted to wear something new. I just wanted to be free and whimsical and hippy-chic. At least I know how this shirt looks on me...

Does it make me look fat? Nope. It makes me look fertile. Good to know.

Stash Contained.

If we could never buy another pair of slacks, eventually we'd stop gaining weight for fear of having to run around to the knitting stores pantsless. Most pants will eventually stop stretching to fit an ass... agreed?

So if I didn't want my stash to grow, why was I letting it wear an elastic-waisted skirt? Or, to complete this analogy, why was I letting the yarn live in a basket with no lid? Like a muffin top, or as we call it at our house, "North Butt", the yarn was starting to overflow it's basket as I became less and less able to prevent the slide of plastic bag across plastic bag. It was becoming unseemly and unmanageable. It was going to become the butt (har har) of jokes before too long.

The solution? Get that stash a pair of pants!!

When I moved into my 2 bedroom apartment, I moved in alone. It was before Senor and I were official, and before his lease was up elsewhere, so I brought in my stuff and put it WHERE EVER just to get it out of the way. When Senor brought his stuff (significantly less stuff than I brought to the equation, I acknowledge this), it got put away on top of WHERE EVER and we called it good. It looked neat enough, we could find most everything... most of the time, and so it has never changed.

Well it needs to change now that we've both expanded our waistlines stuff-wise.

So while Senor was out of town, I did a bit of reconfiguring, a bit of furniture moving, a bit of purging (merciless merciless purging, undies with holes? Don't need those! A bunch of removable bra straps that have lost their bras? What the... 18 pairs of tights with runs? I'm not that dancer from the famous photograph...), and now the stash has a drawer... okay, two drawers in a previously under-used dresser. It has moved out of it's stretchy skirt and into a pair of skinny jeans. It cannot expand. Literally. Which means there will be some destashing going on here to make room for future purchases.

And now we don't have to look at the stash's north butt anymore.

Coming tomorrow: photos of a finished Swallowtail Shawl!

Mo-Mentum Mo-Mentum Mo!!

Finishitis. So rare. So gratifying.

I see them, those unfinished projects, and I want them finished. I want to work on one until it's finished and then pick up the next and finish it until they are all done.

This almost never happens to me. I hope it lasts. If I can carry it through for another week, I could make some serious headway. I need to do some photo shoots of a few recent finishes, but in the meantime I present you with a single shot of the project I hold responsible for the finishitis:


The Shetland Triangle. What seemed like an insurmountable project somehow was finished in 4 days. And after that I wanted more. More finished objects. More feelings of dedication and endurance. I cast on a Swallowtail Shawl the next day. It is now 85% finished. And I have since finished a Harlot Scarf and the Citrus Yoke pullover. I'm on the move. Next will be the Ribbon Lace scarf, and meanwhile I will continue taking little bites out of the Swallowtail.

Life is good. Knitting is good. But finishing... finishing is the best. Whether it's a project or a bottle of shampoo... getting to the finish line feels so great!

Good Times

Well, it's now officially one month since the first event on my list of squirrelled blog posts, so I think it means it's time.

I know what you're all thinking. Finally! (Hello all you Strongs and Bynums, I'm sorry it's taken me so long!)

At 3:30 in the morning the alarm went off. By 4:30 in the morning Senor and I were at the airport, see photo:

By 3:30 in the afternoon we were in Traverse City, Michigan. Our bags were not. It's very discouraging when the smallest airport on earth unloads the smallest plane on earth and the 7 bags come rolling out on the shortest conveyor belt on earth and NONE OF THEM ARE YOURS!! You have nothing to wear to the wedding, you have nothing to wear to the rehearsal dinner, you have nothing to even brush your teeth or restraighten your hair. (But you do have your knitting because you are not an idiot and carried that on)

By 4:00 in the afternoon we were checked in at the Holiday Inn, which was quite nice and had an ocean view. (Senor tells me that it is in fact a lake. Barbara tells me it's actually a bay attached to a lake. I say you can't see the other side. It's ocean.)

By 4:15 in the afternoon we were enjoying oceanside bevvies in plastic cups (yeah, baby, just the way I like it) and some fried cheese (What, buy food on the plane? We aren't Rockefellers. But we are Rockin' Fellers, thank you thank you.)

And by 5:00 we were at the rehearsal.

According to my photos of the event, the only thing that happened at the rehearsal was that the Father of the Bride (FoB) exchanged cds with the Bride... while being windblown and sassy. Don't worry, Amanda, there are pretty photos coming. Of course, the wedding itself was rehearsed casually (way to go on the low key proceedings!). It didn't take much because we were dealing with a bunch of professional wedding party members, and we were off to the rehearsal dinner at the groom's parents lovely home out in the countryside.


(Note the glazed over look in Senor's eyes, that's two hours of sleep for you)

Senor and I were still wearing the same clothes we had put on at 3:30 in the morning, and we were driving a Chevy Aveo, which we renamed El Crapeo, for obvious reasons, see photo:


While I didn't take any photos of the actual house, I did take some photos around the Bynum's property (and one of myself, cause that's just who I am):







The food was excellent, the company friendly, both new and old, and the evening beautiful, if a little windy and chilly for a native Californian. (Yu-huh, it was-so cold, Ashley High!). And the sun was still up at 9:30.

Then began the hunt for the bags. Roaming charges abounded. They promised to deliver our bags by the morning.


One arrived, not the other. We ended up picking the other bag up at the airport ourselves and then having breakfast at the appropriately named:

... where we ate at half a booth:

And I was still wearing the same clothes...

And then it was time to get ready for the wedding. A much needed shower and fresh undies and I was a new woman! Senor prepared to marry his sister, and we went out to the oceanview terrace for a pre-wedding plastic of wine.



It was a beautiful wedding, short, sweet, funny, perfect.


The groom is on the left, with two of his groomsmen.


I video taped the ceremony on my little camera, which promptly alerted me it was out of batteries, so the rest of the evening was not captured properly. I can tell you there was karaoke and wine, and karaoke ON wine. The Maid of Honor and I sang "Don't Stop Believing" at the tail end of the night, which I'm sure was very lovely. A singer in a smokey room, the smell of wine and cheap perfume... Oh so wedding appropriate. I'm still waiting to see the alleged photos of that one.

And then we went to pass out.

After the Sunday brunch, we spent the next day puttering around Traverse City, peering through the windows of closed knitting shops, and eating. We had dinner with Monte and Barbara (who just joined Ravelry, by the way... another one bites the dust, eh, staxgirl?) and a lovely restaurant, and then late night drinks with the bride and groom. A fitting end to a great weekend.

Good times.

Welcome!! The More the Merrier!!!

I want to extend a Mommy, Look What I Made! welcome to my newest family member... of whom I do not yet have a photo...

Kelly Bradley Kurtzig
Monday, June 16, 2008
5:01 pm
9lbs 10oz!!!

Kelly is my cousin's second daughter, making the second half of our family's only set of sisters. Seems like there might need to be some tiny pink knitting going on sometime soon! And some matching not-so-tiny-anymore knitting for her sister, Jamie. What would be a good summer knit for a 4 year old?

Me Me Me Meme...

1. What were you doing ten years ago?

I was working at a government defense company AND Tower Records (I was working 8am to midnight, how did I do that?!). I thought I WAS Liv Tyler from "Empire Records"-- even dressed like her character one day, how cool am I? I was dating my manager, scandal, and watching my co-workers get fired for bringing pot brownies to work (I did not partake).

2. Five things on today's "to do" list (in no particular order)
- Make a To Do list (seriously)
- Rent "Point Break" in preparation for "Point Break Live"-- I am an F-B-I-Agent!!
- Rewash mildewing laundry in the washing machine (sorry, Senor)
- Floss
- Watch So You Think You Can Dance!!!

3. Snacks I enjoy

Pickled Ginger, Parmesian flavored goldfish crackers, wine (this totally counts), cheese on toast, ginger ale (but only on airplanes)

4. Things I would do if I was a millionaire

Pay off debt, buy a house, get Senor another car (which kind do you want?), set up a craft room, buy a new wardrobe, wear matching bra and undies everyday.

5. Places I have lived

Manhattan Beach, CA
Hermosa Beach, CA
El Segundo, CA
Canterbury, UK
Da Hood, CA (also known as USC)
Sorority House @ USC-- Once we all got food poisoning from the ice machine, but this is irrelevant to the Meme.

I tag no one, but feel free to participate if you'd like... that is, assuming you haven't already.

Blogging like a Squirrel

Imagine I have these fat cheeks, all bulgy and lumpy, like a squirrel, only instead of nuts, my cheeks are filled with blog posts. I've been so busy collecting stories and events and knitting accomplishments that I am too busy putting in to have time to take out. But a blogger's cheeks can only stretch so far, and while I will not be addressing the nuts in order, I will get to all the nuts. Here is a list so as to be sure not to forget.

- Michigan Wedding
- San Louis Obispo Graduation
- Laguna Beach Wedding
- Shetland Triangle
- Swallowtail Shawl
- Dance Recital
- TSD Rally

Those are the biggies. There might be a few little sunflower seed-sized posts in between, but these are the main fare.

Of course, I am not really addressing any of these today except in as far as they apply to my current frenzy of planned productiveness.

I don't mention it a lot on the blog, not sure why, but in addition to my day job (working at my dad's dental office) I am a dance teacher. I've been teaching on and off for about 5 years, and I alternately love and hate it, depending on the day and which kids were absent from class that day. I also teach an adult tap class which I invariably love.

I find it interesting that I first decide to mention it on the verge of my semi-retirement. Our recital is this Saturday, and the prospect of time being freed up in my life has me frothing at the mouth. I don't remember the last time that June felt like the end of something and the start of an actual summer break. While the last month or two of teaching has seemed to drag on, now that it's almost over I am feeling very nostalgic about it... But then I remember how I'll be getting two evenings and Fridays back and my head starts to expand with all of the plans I am making.

Of course I'll be at the gym all the time. Every day and I'll magically love working out and will suddenly be getting every penny's worth of my monthly fee. Of course.

And all of my knitting works in progress will stop getting passed up for new projects and will seem wonderful and beautiful and compelling again.

And housework will be a pleasure as I flit about wearing a ruffly apron and singing to the rabbits who are doing my dishes while a sparrow lands on my finger and sings "Africa" in perfect harmony with me.

And the novel I started back in November for NaNoWriMo will get finished and published and I'll go to book signings in brand new clothes with a brand new figure.

And in my spare time I'll sit and watch my bank balance tick up towards the $200,000 mark, at which point I will buy my Dream House to put my kids in (in this fantasy kids are kinda like sea monkeys, they just appear when the environment is right).


All of this, my friends, will get done in the mere 7 hours a week I am getting back with the coming end of dance. Summer is awesome.

Can you see it? It's so clear to me.

Memorial Days

Weddings. Ours and theirs.

We are heading off tomorrow before the sun rises to Traverse City, Michigan for my sister-in-law's wedding. A wedding!!!! I love weddings!

Well, actually, I dread weddings as they approach, which I can't explain very well, but I love them once they are near and then here. I am past the dread and am looking forward to it with childish glee-- Me! Gleefull!! It's been a while since I could claim the emotion glee. But suddenly this morning I find myself full of glee for the bride and groom. You know why? Senor and I watched our wedding dvd last night (he in preparation for officiating this weekend-- yes, friends, Senor is marrying his sister-- I in televisual solidarity-- and to remember how thin my arms were!). At first I was thinking, "I'm not sure I'm ready to watch it again. It hasn't been long enough." But then it was on, and I was watching us looking great and feeling great and having fun and the tears and the laughs and the... Ahhhh... the loveliness. Everyone should get to feel that way, and in a mere two days, Amanda and Nate will be feeling great and looking great and crying (maybe? not sure if they'll be criers, I have my doubts, but I could easily be surprised) and laughing (definitely) and singing some karaoke (Yeah baby! "Let's Get It On", Senor, you must sing it!) and having the loveliness. And I am happy for them! And after watching our dvd, I felt happy for us.

One of the most surprising things I can say about watching our dvd... seeing myself in that setting made me like me, made me think I'd like to have her as a friend. That's a nice thing to be reminded of... yes, yes, that's a dangling participle. I could fix it, but I choose not to. (See, again! Let it dangle!)



Another cool thing about weddings is the knitting time. Now, a wedding is a lot of work, and I may very well be busy helping with stuff during and around the wedding... but what of the airport time? The airplane time? The waiting at baggage claim time? All usable. All highly coveted by the avid knitter. And I have a plan!

My first plan is to not leave my knitting bag at home. At 4am tomorrow morning I will not be in the mood for taking a cab back to the apartment to retrieve it. I am taking sock yarn leftovers for Squares. I am taking a new stash-busting project, the Jewelled Shell from Knitty.com, which I cast on Tuesday night at 11:30pm as a midnight snack, and I am taking the Lace Ribbon Scarf, in case I get bored of all that stockinette. That's all I'm taking. Too many options will split my time too much, and I'll end up with nothing to show for all of my waiting this weekend. Yarn shopping is, of course, part of the plan, but shall be limited to sock yarn as I have plenty of unknit sweaters and hats and scarves staring at me at home. Sock yarn does not breed guilt as the others do. Sock yarn breeds hope and dreams of a delightful future.

That's how I will memorialize this weekend of loveliness and waiting. With a skein to build a dream on.

And photos, if the camera cord ever turns up. And memories for next Memorial Day.

In the Absence of Camera Cord

I haven't felt compelled to post because I haven't had any photos to share... well, that's not quite true. I don't have any photos uploaded to share. The camera cord is riding around in one of my bags or purses, but cursory searches have turned up nothing. It is not gone, and will turn up after it's vacation, but until then-- Words.

Jaywalker 5.0 is finished! The Pagewood Farms yarn that I used is absolutely wonderful, and I would highly recommend it to anyone, especially in the Ireland colorway. Such interesting blue and green variations!

I am working on a design or two, one of which is really going for the jugular. While my visions for colorwork pieces are racing along at warp speed, my hands and needles are not living up to the ideas. It's totally frustrating! It's like trying to explain something in a language where you only know how to say Butter and Ice and you're not sure how to spell them.* I've had to rip back 5 times on a couple inches of a sock, and you should know that I don't usually rip back anything... even when there are mistakes, I usually let them slide. But this has been unacceptable. My design has looked like the knitting equivalent of a three-year-old's fingerpainting. It would be fridge-worthy if a three-year-old had actually done it, of course, but if an adult handed it to you and said, "Mommy, look what I made!" you'd say to her, "What the Eff?" Last night I would have thrown the stunted nub of a project across the room, but the idea of the yarn spiraling out of the center-pull ball like a cruise ship send-off was too cute to be rage appropriate. I hid it in a bag, probably with the camera cord and other misfit projects (one of whom wants to be a dentist), and pretended like it didn't exist.

The Pipe Dream scarf remains true to its name. The weather in Michigan is sufficiently chilly that I am consoling myself with the following mantra: It wouldn't have kept me warm anyway. It wouldn't have kept me warm anyway.

Other than that, squares. Barn Raising Quilt squares and yarn trading on Ravelry. A new friend is sending me a 1 gallon bag of sock yarn leftovers for some Cascade 220 leftovers. Smaller stash, more squares. How awesome is this? I also sold some Cascade 220 cheap to another new friend to help her make a point to her husband about how awesome knitting is. Smaller stash, promoting knitting awesomeness. What a great deal!!**


Bye for Now. ***






*CO 60sts. Knit 1" in k1p1 rib. Mantequilla. Yelo. BO loosely. Weave in ends.

**Senor endorses this message.

***You read it in the voice, didn't you? Admit it.

My knits are doin' it!

They must be. Procreation is the only explanation for the proliferation of the species. Soon I shall have to hire hunters to come in and shoot the surplus population.

Current works in progress:
1. Lace Ribbon Scarf
2. Doppio Gauntlets
3. Citrus Yoke Pullover: This is an actual photo of mine... It's progressed quite a way since then...
4. Jaywalker 5.2
5. Lace Garter Stitch Scarf/Wrap/Wedding-Wearable for sister in law's wedding in less than 3 weeks... Also called "Pipe Dream Scarf".
6. Endpaper Mitts
7. Storm Water Shawl

They are doin' it. Swear. I am not responsible for this madness!