Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Clap if you believe in ME!

Hello. I'm the tree killer. The tree corpse outside? I did that. I can't say that I'm proud. I can't say that I am remorseful either. I resent the tree for being outside but under the overhang of the second story. The rain yesterday did nothing for the tree. This is not natural. Of course, neither is watching a tree die from the warmth and safety of my desk.

I have been convicted of herbicide, and the only reason that I am seeking rehabilitation is because I don't want to get in trouble with the powers that be (i.e. Mom).

As part of my treatment, I am to provide water for the plant, which is now losing its leaves in spite of being an indestructible ficus. I have done so today.

I am also to take a weekly photo of the plant to show my progress in developing sympathy for the darn thing.

I never claimed to be a tree hugger, people. Don't hate. I was given custody of this tree against my will when I accepted this job here. I never planned to have trees. At least not until my 30s.

If you care about this tree, if you believe that I have the power to bring it back to life, please clap your hands the way you did for Tinkerbell. It is our only hope.


Riggwelter said...

I believe!

oh and good luck!

David In Irvine said...

I belive you are getting down right good at this blogging biz.

Oh yeah, water it every now and then.

Gregorio said...

There is much clapping from the East Coast!

You can do it!